I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
