Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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