okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
