She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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