I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
