Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
