If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
