my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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