so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize