I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
