If that was your dad, he is hot
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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