i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
