True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Blow job season was short but glorious.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
