is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
