My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
