My brain says no but my pants say off.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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