This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
