so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
