I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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