Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
