oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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