Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
