somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
