Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
