I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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