btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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