So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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