The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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