Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
