Soap is not a condiment
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
