dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
