Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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