last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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