everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize