There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize