you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
