yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
