so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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