We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
