i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you made out with another girl for some wings
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
