I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize