I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
