Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That accounts for only three of the penises
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
