just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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