Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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