White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
