So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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