I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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