I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
