Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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