Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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