would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
