I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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