true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
