So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize