I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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