The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
