He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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