I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
