the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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