His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Pants are for mortals
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize