i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
